on-WEE me

ennui \on-WEE\, noun:
A feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction arising from lack
of interest; boredom.

He glanced at his heavily laden bookshelves. Nothing there
appealed to him. The ennui seemed to have settled into his
very bones.
-Amanda Quick, With This Ring

He was ashamed and unhappy, adrift with a senseless ennui.
-Brian Moynahan, Rasputin: The Saint Who Sinned
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Ennui is from the French, from Old French enui, "annoyance,"
from enuier, "to annoy, to bore," from the Latin phrase in
odium, "in hatred or dislike."

Synonyms: tedium, boredom, listlessness, weariness. Find
more at Thesaurus.com.

This feeling of ennui is settling into my bones too. End of this month, I can start celebrating my two years anniversary working in this company. But the sad part is I'm still a contract staff and I just agreed on the extension for another year. Another sad thing is what a change of behaviour from my boss. From being courteous and polite into someone who don't look into my eye when he talks. Am I that ugly or what?!? *mumble mumble mumble* He did the same thing when I first got into his group. He doesn't look at me in the eye and talk, hence making me feel quite insignificant working under him. Imagine I ask him something and he answered my question to my colleague next to me. huh?!??! Talk about "I treat perm and contract staff the same". Bah. My boss need to see a doctor.

Another sad thing is that I might be taken out from the morning shift since most of the work are being brought to India. In the past, we were making racist jokes to one another about Bhangra people and how they are working as odd-job labourers in our country. But look at them now! They are the ones who can replace our jobs anytime in the skilled industry because the cost of labour over there is way way cheaper. So back to my morning shift thingy, my boss said it might happen in the next two to three months time which means my morning shift allowance will be gone. What to do?

Meanwhile, I have to open my eyes wide open for my 'escape'.


Therefore, I urge you, brothers,
in view of God's mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,
holy and pleasing to God
—this is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve
what God's will is
—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2

: "merf...must...not...conform...to the funny patterns of my boss..."